Preparing to take drop your child off at college for the first time can be a highly emotional experience for any parent. If you and your spouse are separated or divorced, those emotions can be overwhelming.
If you haven’t already, it’s critical that you have the financial end of things decided so that tuition, room and board, books, dorm accessories and more are covered without any confusion or conflict your child doesn’t need as they adjust to this new phase of their life.
How will they split their time at home?
Besides working out how you’ll share in getting your child money when they need it (unless they’re covering everyday expenses themselves), you’ll need to determine how they will divide their time when they’re at home. Whether they’re far enough away that they’re only home during long breaks or they may be coming home some weekends, it’s a good idea to do some planning.
When a child ages out of the custody order and can decide where to spend their time, co-parents too often engage in pressure or guilt tactics to get them to their home. Just remember that the more the two of you make this an uncomfortable decision for them, the more likely they are to avoid both of you and opt to stay with a friend or another relative instead.
The drop-off
You can get your new role as co-parents of a college student off to a smooth start by coordinating the drop-off. There are likely multiple ways you can both be part of getting your child to school and helping them settle in without running into each other too much. It may be best to come up with a couple of options yourselves and then let your child weigh in rather than put the responsibility on them.
This is just the beginning of being co-parents to an adult child. The better you’re able to work together, the more your child will likely want to continue to have both of you in their life. If you have questions or concerns about any of your divorce agreements or potential modifications to them, having legal guidance will help.
The better you and your co-parent can work together as co-parents of a college student, the more likely it is that your child will want to keep both of you in their life. If you need to make modifications to any of your divorce agreements, now is the time to consider those, with legal guidance.