The longer you stay married, the more the dynamic between you and your spouse changes. When you are in the honeymoon phase of your romance, you want to spend every moment possible with one another. After decades of marriage, you made now value your time alone more than when you were newlyweds.
More importantly, as people grow older, they are likely to start snoring. Medical issues like sleep apnea can make snoring particularly disruptive, as can the devices used to help those with sleep apnea. Your spouse’s machinery or snoring could impact your rest and your mental health.
As the sleep deprivation goes on for months, you may begin to resent your spouse. The mood changes that often come with exhaustion can exacerbate your response. You may even manifest physical health symptoms because of your poor sleep, like weight gain and higher blood pressure. For those dealing with disruptive snoring or similar nighttime issues, a sleep divorce could help prevent a legal divorce.
What exactly is a sleep divorce?
When a married couple decides to abandon the idea of a marital bedroom and begins to sleep separately, they have completed a sleep divorce. They remain married but decide to permanently sleep in separate rooms.
Choosing to keep separate bedrooms so that both of you can keep your own schedules or sleep more soundly can do a world of good for your relationship. It may quickly lead to an improvement in someone’s mental health if lack of sleep has affected their quality of life.
It can even add a little bit of the romance and mystery back to a relationship when you don’t see one another with your bite guards in at night or have to deal with farting in bed. In short, a little bit of extra space between the two of you could improve your health and your relationship.
Marriages on the brink may need more than one intervention
If you find yourself considering a sleep divorce, it may also be time to negotiate a postnuptial agreement. While you are still engaged in working on your marriage, you can negotiate what would occur if you do divorce. You can also lay out expectations about the marriage going forward. After many years of marital cohabitation, re-evaluating your values and what you expect from one another could strengthen your relationship.
Exploring all of your options can help you feel more confident if you do decide to file for divorce.