Co-parenting isn’t always easy, but it might be the best option for your children because it keeps both their parents actively involved in their lives. If you and your ex are going to make this work, you’re both going to have to be willing to compromise and work as a team. There are several things that you can do that might make this a bit easier.
As you’re working with your co-parent, there are bound to be conflicts. Working through these can be challenging but this doesn’t mean that things have to devolve into a battle. Instead, focus on keeping the peace while coming to a compromise. Here are two tips to keep in mind:
1. You’re a parenting team
You have to keep the focus on the children. The conflict shouldn’t ever come down to you against your ex because that could mean that the focus is on who can “win” in any given situation. In reality, the children are the ones who should win when parents make decisions. The more you view parenting as a partnership or a business relationship with your co-parent where you have common goals, the better.
2. Keep things private
One important thing to remember is that the conflicts you have with your co-parent should be kept between you and your co-parent alone. Don’t try to relay messages through the children. Don’t badmouth your ex to others who might come in contact with the children. Try to work directly with your ex, even if this means having to meet face-to-face or communicating only via written means like text messages.
The terms named in your parenting plan have to be at the heart of how you raise the children. Make sure that you get these set as quickly as you can after the divorce. This helps to ensure that the kids have what they need, and setting it quickly enables them to adjust to the new way of life so they can thrive.