Parents dealing with raising children during and after a divorce should ensure they’re doing things in the best way for their kids. While all parents are bound to make some mistakes as they begin to navigate their new reality, there are steps that you can take to avoid having to deal with larger problems down the road.
There are some matters that you can tackle now to avoid them causing problems later on.
#1: Don’t engage in inappropriate communication with your ex
You and your ex need to learn how to communicate effectively. You’ll want to master speaking directly with one another and doing so in a respectful way. It sets a bad precedent to have your kids to relay messages between the two of you. It also leaves room for miscommunication.
Additionally, you shouldn’t speak poorly of your ex. While this is especially true around the kids, it’s also important that you don’t say anything negative when talking to anyone who might interact with your children.
#2: Avoid having your child constantly pack their bags
Having your kids pack bags to go back and forth between homes can be hard on them. Instead, aim to have basic items, such as toiletries and clothing, at both homes. This reduces the chances of them forgetting something. Of course, some items, such as school books and medications, might have to be shared between homes.
#3: Stop being a “yes” parent
It’s easy to let things slide and try to give your kids everything they want while they’re dealing with the divorce. The issue with this is that it sets unrealistic expectations about what they can do in the future. Instead, set the house rules right away and only start traditions if you’re sure you’ll be able to keep up with them in the future.
One of the best things you can do when you divorce is to work out the terms of the co-parenting agreement as quickly as possible. The terms must be set based on what the children need now because it’s possible to modify the agreement if those needs change later on.
