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Divorcing with an adopted child: Tips for helping them cope

When you and your spouse decided to adopt a child, it never crossed your mind that you’d get a divorce. The trials of parenthood, along with other changes in your life, did become difficult to deal with as a couple, though. Apart, you work well, but together, you’re not in a good position.

You don’t want to hurt your child, and you’re worried you will with the divorce, but there is no other option in your mind. Your child is adopted, but you don’t want that to hold you back from moving into a better situation and giving them a better life as well. What should you do?

Adoption can affect your child’s perception during a divorce

You are right to think that an adopted child might have a poor reaction to a divorce. They’ve lost their family at least once before, and it could seem like a complete upheaval once again. To help your child, there are a few things you can do.

To start with, you and your spouse should sit down and explain the situation to your child in an age-appropriate manner. Explain that you and your spouse no longer wish to be together and what that means for your child’s relationship with either of you. Be clear about what your child can expect and listen to their concerns.

Listening to their concerns is one of the best things you can do. You want to be supportive during this difficult time of changes. Children, even those who are not adopted, will have some emotional struggles while coming to terms with the changes that are taking place. Listen closely to your child’s concerns and consider investing in a professional’s help if your child is overwhelmed by the changes that are happening in your life.

Finally, do what you can to fully embrace co-parenting, unless there is a reason not to do so. Your child will benefit from having both of you in their life. Both parents should always do their best to care for their child, especially if the child is adopted. You promised to care for them, so taking steps to work together, even if you don’t live together, is one way to show a continuing commitment to your child’s happiness and health.

These are a few things to consider about a divorce with an adopted child. It isn’t always easy, but you can get through it.

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