It’s hard to face a divorce when you don’t want it. Even if you do, it can be hard to imagine losing someone you’ve been with every day and moving on to a different phase of life.
Despite that, approaching the divorce with anger or aggression often does nothing to help you. Being contentious can drag out a divorce and make it harder for everyone, including yourself.
What can you do to cope with the frustration and stress of a divorce?
It’s unlikely that you’ll resolve the issues you’re having right away, but you can calm yourself so that you can approach the divorce as professionally as possible. To start with, you may want to take a time out. Before you answer a phone call, text, email or letter, wait. Think about what you want to say. If it’s not something nice or you want to argue what you’ve been told, wait to return the message. Even if you have to wait 24 hours, giving yourself time to really think through what you want to say could help you avoid having a screaming match or writing a nasty letter back to someone. Every time you communicate, you need to put your best foot forward, even if you’re unhappy with what you’ve learned.
Another thing to remember is that you can take time for yourself, and you should. For example, you may want to consider taking at least one day a week and setting it aside. On that day, you won’t think about or work on things for your divorce. Take that time to do something you want to do and focus on the things you love. Having that break can give you a chance to rejuvenate and to collect yourself.
During a divorce, one of the main things that worries people is how much there is to do. There’s a lot of paperwork, and you need to collect documentation on your assets. You have to determine child custody arrangements if you have kids and work out your property division settlement. With everything there is to do, it’s a good idea to work with a professional, so you can go step-by-step without missing anything and have some peace of mind when it comes to the whole process.
Finally, remember that this is only a small part of your life. Divorces can take months or years, but in the course of your lifetime, they’re over in a short time. Do your best to move forward and face the divorce when you can, so you can resolve it in a timely manner and move on to better circumstances.